15) Javier Bardem
He was Chigurh when I first saw him and I thought, “This man will be dateless for the rest of his life because he is absolutely terrifying.” And then, there was Vicky Cristina Barcelona where a sun-kissed, scruffy-faced, artistic Spaniard was totally believable as the object of two beautiful women’s desire. That Roman nose between those deep brown eyes and that intangible assuredness in his masculinity is captivating.
14) Stanley Tucci
Extremely talented, witty, and a body that will rock your face off. I love me some Stanley “Get That Coochie” Tucci.
13) Dwayne Johnson
This giant hunk of cinnamony goodness can wrestle me anytime. (Okay, now I’m just deteriorating into a 14-year-old girl.)
12) Andre Benjamin/Dante Smith
I like ‘em short, well dressed, peculiar, pork-free, and a genius with words. I’m also a sucker for regional diction. I just can’t pick between the two, so I shall have them both. I mean seriously! How could I choose!? HOW COULD I CHOOSE!?!?
11) Omari Hardwick
If you don’t know who he is, get a clue. The man is slap-yo-mama fine.
10) Brad Pitt
Of course he’s on this list. He’s Brad Pitt. It’s Mr. All-American himself. For me, now that he’s gotten all those I-got-a-gaggle-of-children-overnight wrinkles and that Dear-God-she-tricked-me-someone-please-help stare, he’s more attractive. I guess he’s always been attractive, but he didn’t much do it for me in his younger, don’t fence me in days. And then he was all dirty and glisteny in Troy (that tent scene—you know what I’m talking about) and I suddenly paid Mr. What-was-I-supposed-to-do-she-got-pregnant more attention. And I just have to make this connection again. Awww. He has 800 kids.
9) Idris Elba
Tall, dark, multi-talented. And British. Who wouldn’t love that deep voice wrapped up in a delightfully accented package? I’m pretty sure he could bed more than a few of my guy friends, too. He’s just so suave.
8) Eduardo Verastegui
He looks like a Giorgio Armani model. And, of course, the first time I saw him was in the movie Bella where his character was soft spoken and tortured and chivalrous. And fully bearded. I’m talking borderline homelessly bearded. Well, actually, more like borderline Christ-ly bearded. ‘Cause the whole movie was a vehicle for a pro-life message. And I still watched it and wanted to be locked in a small apartment over a weekend with this guy. I may be a terrible person, but I ain’t blind.
7) Chris Hemsworth
Could not have picked a better Thor myself. This six-foot-three rugged Aussie (what are they feeding them down there) wasn’t even a blip on my radar until it was announced that Thor was going to be a movie. The casting for the Avengers up to that point had been amazingly spot on (seriously, RD, Jr. is Tony Stark), so initial Google searches of “thor movie” yielded disappointing results. Long story short, life prevented me from even seeing the movie and it drifted off my radar completely. Then, I caught a random moment of this year’s Golden Globes and was stopped in my tracks. I’d seen photos of the bulk up job Chris Evans did for Captain America: The First Avenger and was impressed. When he was called out with some dude named Chris Hemsworth to present an award, I was thinking, “Hmm, this should be nice to look at for a second.” And this blue eyed, five o’clock shadowed Scandinavian looking tower of man-ness strolled out next to what’s-his-face, a good 3” taller and seemingly a foot broader and I was smitten. Holy cow, Jebus Bhrist, motherfuckface, this guy is smokin’.
I mean, COME ON!
6) Jimmy Jean-Louis
He was “The Haitian” on Heroes and the it-guy in, sigh, Mo’Nique’s Phat Girlz (was there enough punctuation in that sentence for you). But, most obviously, he is gorgeous. Just absolutely gorgeous. Look at that skin. Look at those eyes. Look at those lips. Look at this BODY!! Wooooo! Just….WOOOOO!! I need to brush up on my French.